So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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