We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
