I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize