I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
