is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
