Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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