Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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