he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
