I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
