No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
