You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
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