You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
