So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
