The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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