I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
