Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
