worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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