Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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