i may or may not be watching the land before time
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
