I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
