Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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