Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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