I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
