grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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