It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
