I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
