so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
