Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
