erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
