I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
