You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
