He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
