I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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