Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
