I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
