Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
