She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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