just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
