it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize