I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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