I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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