And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
