It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We talked him into tasing himself.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
