The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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