He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
