Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
