watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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