sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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