This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
