I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
