My hand turned me down
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
