No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
