I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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