Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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