stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
