I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
