Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
