North Korea, Best Korea!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize