And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
