Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
