I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
