i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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